Codependency Treatment Assignment

Sometimes a support group isn’t enough. We may come to a season in our life where we require help at a level that our church or recovery community cannot offer. New Life Spirit Recovery offer a codependence program track that is set up to give the codependent the opportunity to say “it’s time I take care of me.” Through an intensive counseling and educational approach, the codependent is asked to do a fearless self-confrontation process to press deeply into the healing principles of the Lord Jesus Christ. You will spend time not just assessing what’s wrong in your life today, but deal specifically with the deeper roots that have driven you to this point. Through a Christ-centered clinical approach, this journey can move you through your past not to dwell on it, but to identify false belief systems and shame messages acquired. This will help you to capture the lies you’ve been told and replace them with the truth of who God says you are. While it sounds so simple, it’s an intensive process of peeling back the various layers of your codependence and coping mechanisms to get at the heart of why your life hasn’t been working. As you agree to step into truth, you will find what you’ve been looking – true, authentic freedom.  And not just that, you will have the opportunity to acquire new tools to bring into your relationships – tools that are empowered with the truth of God and His redemptive grace, that also allow you to form godly boundaries.

Professional Program Contents:

The assessment is the first thing we must do in order to understand how to best help you. It occurs after a variety of paperwork and a personal life story has been written. The goal of the assessment is for the counselor to understand, identify and provide a treatment plan within your chosen timeframe that sets specific goals relevant to your particular needs and circumstances. On occasion, the counselor may find additional outside services that are necessary and will coordinate with you accordingly.

Crisis Intervention
While it may not be the case for everyone, often, the person suffering from codependence is attempting to balance a relationship that is imbalanced physically, financially, emotionally or spiritually. By the time a person seeks help, this relationship is often so painful and consuming, that specific resources and homework assignments need to be offered to address it immediately. However, at the same time, once that situation can be stabilized, we believe it is absolutely important for the codependent to take the time to assess and understand their own emotional pain and issues that led up to the current circumstances. We have two weekly classes that address the nature of crisis and breakdown in the family system, focusing on critical ways to overcome those unhealthy dynamics.

Individual Counseling Sessions
Our private counseling sessions offer you the opportunity to work through unique needs and challenges you face both in your current circumstances and throughout your lifetime. With your professional, Master-level counselor, you’ll also look at overall patterns and events from childhood through adulthood. The goal of counseling isn’t just to deal with the current situations, but to also identify and understand driving roots. The goal of treatment is to deal with any trauma, emotional difficulties or other life events that have not yet been fully addressed

Workbook material
The core curriculum used in the New Life Spirit Recovery codependence program is based on the nationally recognized book “The Christian Codependence Recovery Workbook: from Surviving to Significance” written by our Director, Stephanie Tucker. This book is a 12-module approach to understanding and properly dealing with codependence. Some concepts from A House that Grace Built will also be introduced including bonding, intimacy and important relationships such as marriage and close family.

Self-paced Spiritual Workshop
The spiritual workshop is designed to lay the foundation of God’s truth. It is intended to get people into the Word, to minister to their spirits and to recall the many promises of God.

Homework and Self Evaluation
We don’t believe homework assignments are a minor thing, we believe that through written homework, most breakthroughs will transpire. It gives you the opportunity to connect personally with those thoughts, feelings and behaviors that need to be dealt with.


We use prayer throughout the program. We know that interaction with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit is foundational to all true change. Prayer occurs inside the counseling room, and through a more intensive approach prior to exiting program. We deal with generational issues, strongholds, bondage and other forms of spiritual crisis.

What are the Program Options Costs?
Our desire is to package the best, most comprehensive and most affordable option available on the Christian treatment market. We have a variety of different options available that are based on your needs and financial situation. Please call us to learn more.

How Do I Know if I’m codependent?

Everyone is codependent to a degree, but understanding if codependence is so severe that it requires intervention is helpful. For most people, partaking of recovery is sufficient, but for those that have extreme codependency, counseling and/or treatment might be considered.

On a scale of 1-5, with 1 being the least and 5 being the most, answer the following:

  • I have difficulty saying “no” when people ask me to do something, even when I know I should not do it.
  • I feel I need cover up for irresponsible people in my life because I don’t want them to suffer. I’d rather “fill in and help them” then see them get consequences. It’s my job to assist them.
  • I understand that it is my job to fix, manage and hold my family/relationship together.
  • I work hard to be thoughtful and nice to others and get angry when they don’t respond or reciprocate my efforts.
  • I like to be around people that need my help. I avoid situations where I would not have a task or a “duty” to perform for others.
  • I worry about how I make people feel. It directly affects my own feelings.
  • When I get in close relationships, I change to try that please that person. I often “read” people to figure out how I should act.
  • I don’t like being alone. I need to be around others all the time.
  • I am afraid of people. I need to isolate.
  • Being “good to myself” is equivalent to selfishness
  • Other people’s needs always come before mine, even if it I have urgent needs and they do not
  • In the areas of my life where I experience approval, I often become over-involved. In the areas of failure, I detach and withdraw.
  • If something is not perfect I see it as a failure
  • I become defensive when others point out my imperfections
  • I often measure myself in accordance with other people. It leaves me feeling as if I’m “better” then others sometimes, and “worse” then others at other times.
  • I’d rather hang out with people that I perceive as “less” then myself so I can be in a role of helping, solving or fixing their problems.
  • I feel very inadequate when people seem to “have it all together.” I tend to avoid friendships with those type of people.
  • Deep down inside, I don’t really like myself and don’t want people to know the “real me”
  • I tend to blame and criticize people and circumstances for my feelings.
  • I have a hard time leaving relationshps, even if they are unhealthy
  • I have a difficult time asking people for help, even when it’s necessary.
  • I feel sometimes that if I don’t do it myself, it will never get done right
  • I find it difficult to speak what I truly feel or ask for what I need.
  • I have secret sins in my life that I cannot not let others know about because it would ruin my image of being the “strong one” (i.e., alcohol, drugs, food addiction, sex, pornography, etc.)

If you have answered two or more of these with a “5”, you most likely have codependence roots in your life. If you consistenly scored “4’s and 5’s” it is also an indication of severe codepedence tendencies that may require a deeper level of recovery. Learn here about codependent resources.


How Did These Codependency Worksheets Come About?

After my sister, Jennifer, spent almost 5 years in a highly abusive relationship, we finally learned about this phenomenon called codependency.

Jennifer eventually left the relationship and set off on a journey of healing from her maladaptive behavior patterns, things like subjugation (a pattern of anxiety-ridden people-pleasing, focused on judgement or retaliation, and often done as a form of control in order to feel safe) and self-sacrifice (a proactive pattern of “fixing” and rescuing, motivated by seeing someone in distress, typically because one feels insignificant, inadequate or even guilty).

Throughout this journey, Jennifer and our family learned all sorts of things we never knew.

Here are some of Jennifer’s own words about what this time was like:

I began to process pieces of this puzzle that began to open and found so much relative to my life as a codependent.  The biggest question that came to mind was “what messages was I given as a child as a result of my family’s dysfunction?”  A major identifier of codependency for me was the extreme caretaker role I put myself in.  I constantly put the needs of others before my own and forgot to take care of myself…or did I ever learn how to take care of myself?  Either way, the feeling of being needed outweighed the need to love myself.  I could not stand to be alone.  I was constantly in search of acceptance from everyone I encountered.  I did what was pleasing in everyone else’s eyes in order to feel fulfilled, even if it meant sacrificing my morals and values or lack thereof.  I never had boundaries and rarely had to stand up for myself.  It was unacceptable to hurt people’s feelings.

Did my codependency form as a coping mechanism?  Was I given messages of not being needed or important somewhere along the way?  Is that why it was so difficult for me to leave a toxic and abusive relationship?  That may have been the first time I felt needed or fulfilled and latched on strongly.  I became extremely loyal to these toxic people and behaviors and allowed harmful situations to last way too long…all because I had lost MYSELF.

We learned that codependency is essentially flawed mental and emotional programing pattern that almost always results in unbalanced and unfulfilling relationships with others (and with yourself).

We also learned the good news that just as you can learn codependent behaviors, you can also unlearn them!

…and so once Jennifer was firmly planted on solid ground after a variety of healing activities, we started sharing her story and some of the advice we learned along the way.

We started interviewing experts, authors, therapists and counselors all about what it takes to recover from codependency. We started studying it (and still do) from every angle we could find. (Feel free to check out the Codependency No More Podcast here.)

After a while, we consulted with some of these experts to create a framework for codependency recovery which we called Build Better Boundaries: Learn To Be Kind Without Being Codependent. It has over 3 hours of video lessons, along with a workbook we created.

And now we’re providing the workbook by itself for anyone who’s willing to roll up their sleeves and do some hard work.

Here’s what’s in the full Build Better Boundaries Workbook:

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