Amazing Essays About Love

2. “Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear,” Laura Munson, July 31, 2009.“I don’t love you anymore,” my husband said. “I’m not sure I ever did.”

His words came at me like a speeding fist, like a sucker punch, yet somehow in that moment I was able to duck. And once I recovered and composed myself, I managed to say, “I don’t buy it.” Because I didn’t.

He drew back in surprise. Apparently he’d expected me to burst into tears, to rage at him, to threaten him with a custody battle. Or beg him to change his mind.

3. “Good Enough? That’s Great,” Daniel Jones, Jan. 31, 2014. What’s the best way to recalibrate a marriage as the years pass? I wish I had the answer, because clearly millions of us would like to know.

As the editor of the Modern Love column for nearly a decade, I have noticed people wrestling with two questions above all others. From the young: “How do I find love?” And from those wallowing through marital malaise: “How do I get it back?”

Though it’s not really love they want back as much as attention, excitement and passion.

4. “Age Is No Obstacle to Love, or Adventure,” Nora Johnson, Sept. 12, 2013. I used to think that elder love, if it even existed, was confined to rocking chairs or golf carts, that it had to be a dull business because of the physical limitations of age.

Failing memory would make interesting conversation impossible, and old people didn’t seem inclined or able to participate in the lovely stuff of love — sadly, because what better way to get through that wretchedly boring, painful and terrifying period we call our golden years?

5. “Coming Out as a Modern Family,” Maria Bello, Nov. 29, 2013.I have never understood the distinction of “primary” partner. Does that imply we have secondary and tertiary partners, too? Can my primary partner be my sister or child or best friend, or does it have to be someone I am having sex with? I have two friends who are sisters who have lived together for 15 years and raised a daughter. Are they not partners because they don’t have sex? And many married couples I know haven’t had sex for years. Are they any less partners?

6. “Sometimes, It’s Not You,” Sara Eckel, Sept. 23, 2011.Did we find love because we grew up, got real and worked through our issues? No. We just found the right guys. We found men who love us even though we’re still cranky and neurotic, haven’t got our careers together, and sometimes talk too loudly, drink too much and swear at the television news. We have gray hairs and unfashionable clothes and bad attitudes. They love us, anyway.

7. “Truly, Madly, Guiltily,” Ayelet Waldman, March 27, 2005. I am the only woman in Mommy and Me who seems to be, well, getting any. This could fill me with smug well-being. I could sit in the room and gloat over my wonderful marriage.

But I don’t. I am far too busy worrying about what’s wrong with me. Why, of all the women in the room, am I the only one who has not made the erotic transition a good mother is supposed to make? Why am I the only one incapable of placing her children at the center of her passionate universe?

8. “The Race Grows Sweeter Near Its Final Lap,” Eve Pell, Jan. 24, 2013.Old love is different. In our 70s and 80s, we had been through enough of life’s ups and downs to know who we were, and we had learned to compromise. We knew something about death because we had seen loved ones die. The finish line was drawing closer. Why not have one last blossoming of the heart?

I was no longer so pretty, but I was not so neurotic, either. I had survived loss and mistakes and ill-considered decisions; if this relationship failed, I’d survive that too.

9. “Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define,” Marguerite Fields (College Essay Contest Winner), May 4, 2008.When my friends and I started having a conversation about the nature of monogamy, I thought I knew something about monogamy. Because, despite the fleeting nature of most of my encounters, and despite my own role in their short duration, I think what I have been seeking in some form from all of these men is permanence.

Sometimes I don’t like them, or am scared of them, and a lot of times I’m just bored by them. But my fear or dislike or boredom never seems to diminish my underlying desire for a guy to stay, or at least to say he is going to stay, for a very long time.

10. “Somewhere Inside, a Path to Empathy,” David Finch, May 17, 2009.“I don’t know when things got bad,” Kristen said, wiping away tears. “I feel like I’ve lost you and I don’t know what will bring you back.”

In reality she hadn’t lost me. She’d found me. The facade of semi-normalcy I’d struggled to maintain was falling away, revealing the person I’d been since childhood. I didn’t even know what was wrong with me, though my wife, a speech pathologist who works with autistic children, had her suspicions. Even so, it would be another two years before she would put all the pieces together and attach a name to what was ruining our marriage: Asperger’s syndrome.

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50 Great Articles and Essays about Love and Relationships

Essays and short articles about love and life, relationships, dating and friendship

Love and Life


Masters of Love by Emily Esfahani Smith

Science says lasting relationships come down to — you guessed it —kindness and generosity

This is Emo by Chuck Klosterman

No woman will ever satisfy me. I know that now, and I would never try to deny it. But this is actually okay, because I will never satisfy a woman, eithe

How to Pick Your Life Partner by Tim Urban

To a frustrated single person, life can often feel like this... (part 2 is here)

My Superpower Is Being Alone Forever by Joe Berkowitz and Joanna Neborsky

Sometimes when a radiant single lady comes floating along the sidewalk like a dream, I think about stopping her. But I never would...

True Love by Haruki Murakami

On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful april morning

It's Not Them, It's You by Jen Doll

The plight of the single lady

Liking Is for Cowards by Jonathan Franzen

Do I need to point out that - absent some wild, anthropomorphizing projection in which my BlackBerry felt sad about the waning of my love for it - our relationship was entirely one-sided? Let me point it out anyway

12 Revelations About Sex by Alain de Botton

In order to transcend the discomfort that sex typically stirs, you may need to radically rethink desire, marriage, fidelity, and much more

30 more essays about life

Relationships


In Relationships, Be Deliberate by Emily Esfahani Smith and Galena Rhoades

For milestones like moving in together, intent (rather than chronology) determines success

Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex? by Lori Gottlieb

The very qualities that lead to greater emotional satisfaction in equal marriages may be having an unexpectedly negative impact on these couples' sex lives

Size Matters by Adam Gopnik

Why short men make better husbands

Farting in Love by Tracy Clark-Flory

It's a dreaded but inevitable stage in every relationship: Admitting the basic fact of our human digestive tracts

I Think You're Fat by A. J. Jacobs

Experiments in radical honesty

Dating


Dating Online by Emily Witt

This was not a way to live. A man would go to a bar alone, I told myself. So I went to a bar alone

Love Me Tinder by Emily Witt

Until recently, hookup apps were straightforward but sleazy. Then along came Tinder...

Tinder and the Dawn of the "Dating Apocalypse" by Nancy Jo Sales

As romance gets swiped from the screen, some twentysomethings aren't liking what they see

Looking for Someone by Nick Paumgarten

Sex, love, and loneliness on the Internet

A Million First Dates by Dan Slater

How online romance is threatening monogamy

Mormons, Orthodox Jews and the Dating Crisis by Jon Birger

Believe it or not, the rise in Mormon breast implants and $100,000 Jewish dowries can explain why you're alone on Friday night(!!)

Dating by Numbers by Kevin Poulsen

How a math genius hacked OkCupid to find true love

Infidelity


Why We Cheat by Lisa Taddeo

That's what I want to know. If you're going to wreck some other person's world, what's the good thing you're going to get?

The Cuckold by James Harms

The top of her head is the first thing to come into view, then her face, her face. Her face had a look that I understood before I fully realized I was understanding it

Is Pornography Adultery? by Ross Douthat

Nothing in the long history of erotica compares with the way millions of Americans experience porn today, and our moral intuitions are struggling to catch up

Friendship


How Friendships Change in Adulthood by Julie Beck

We need to catch up soon!

Friends of a Certain Age by Alex Williams

Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30?

A Guide to Friendship, Schmoozing, and Social Advancement by Glenn O'Brien

Finding the best others we can is part of the natural-selection mechanism, and it's far safer than rock climbing

Are Your Friends Making You Fat? by Clive Thompson

Could behaviour be contagious?

The Man Date by Jennifer 8. Lee

The delicate posturing began with the phone call....

See also...


50 Great Psychology Articles

Essential reading about the mechanics of thought

25 Great Essays about Life

The best writing about the complexities of life in the modern world

10 Great Articles about Happiness

Amazing articles about what it means to be happy

The Psychology of Love


Love by Lauren Slater

Scientists say that the brain chemistry of infatuation is akin to mental illness—which gives new meaning to ‘madly in love'

The Biology of Attraction by Helen E. Fisher

A comprehensive review of the biological underpinnings of sexual behaviour, from flirting and courtship to infidelity and break-ups

Love Is Like Cocaine by Helen Fisher

From ecstasy to withdrawal, the lover resembles an addict

There's No Such Thing as Everlasting Love by Emily Esfahani Smith

Are emotions no more than "micro-moments of positivity resonance?

50 more articles about psychology

Sex


Men, Women, Sex And Darwin by Natalie Angier

A critical look at the widely held belief that all men want to play the field, while women are programmed for monogamy

Safe-Sex Lies by Meghan Daum

I've gone into more than a few relationships with the safest of intentions and discarded them soon after, and my hunch is that I'm not the only one…

Why My Wife Won't Sleep With Me by Sean Elder

Confessions of a dependent male

Deeply, Truly (but Not Physically) in Love by Lauren Slater

A personal account of the difficulties of maintaining a relationship when the sex has dried up

Women Who Want to Want by Daniel Bergner

More than by any other sexual problem — the elusiveness of orgasm, say, or pain during sex — women feel plagued by low desire...

50 more articles about sex

Kids These Days

No Labels, No Drama, Right? by Jordana Narin

Every time his name popped up on my phone, my heart raced. Still, we were never more than semiaffiliated...

Why Developing Serious Relationships in Your 20s Matters by Elizabeth Spiers

Are you in your twenties? Have you been told that now is your time to build your own life and not worry about things like settling down and having children?

Like. Flirt. Ghost. by Mary H. K. Choi

A Journey Into the Social Media Lives of Teens

Friends Without Benefits by Nancy Jo Sales

How dating apps, social media and porn are reshaping tennager's lives

Boys on the Side by Hanna Rosin

Is the hookup culture an engine of female progress?

50 more articles about growing up

Books

Why We Love by Helen Fisher

"The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love."

Essays in Love by Alain De Botton

Charting a relationship, from the first blush to the final heartbreak.

A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini and Richard Lannon

The science of love.

100 more great nonfiction books

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